The Phrase That Settled My Discontent
In 2016, Rob and I went to Colorado for the first time. Like pretty much every human on the planet who visits the mountains for the first time, we wanted to live in this incredible place. But we didn’t want to be like all the people who just talked about moving; we were determined to find a way to make it actually happen. Rob researched Budweiser opportunities and found a warehouse south of Denver he could transfer to. Except, they paid the exact same in Colorado that they did in Oklahoma. That salary worked fine here, but cost of living was significantly higher there. With other limiting factors at play, we realized this was not a dream we could pursue right now, and it really crushed me. I hated that I talked so much about this dream and couldn’t make it happen!
Sometime later in the fall, I don’t remember when or how it happened, but I felt like God just sweetly spoke to me the words that would settle my heart and erase my discontent. He said, “Stephanie, there will be mountains in Heaven.”
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Each time I’ve visited the mountains since Rob died, I’ve always remembered God speaking that to me. And I can look at the breathtaking beauty of peaks that touch the sky, a sky that is so crisp and vibrant it feels otherworldly. I imagine Rob in those mountains now, and he feels so alive.
For New Years, Robert took me skiing in Copper Mountain, a place he grew up going to with his family. (By the way, it gets confusing for me when I tell stories and I go back and forth between the name Rob and Robert…I hope ya’ll follow along! Rob - number 1, Robert - number 2. Ha!)
We had the absolute SWEETEST time together. I really don’t think any New Year’s could top this one. We had a huge bay window that faced the mountain and we were able to stay inside our warm room and watch all the fireworks displays, and wake up each morning to see the sunrise against the slopes. It was incredible. He helped me conquer fears and get way outside of my comfort zone. He carried my skis when I was tired and just served me joyfully. I fell even more in love with that man. He is truly something special.
Yet as we were leaving, I felt that ache of not wanting to leave the mountains. I looked at the giant peak in front of me and sensed Rob out there. “There will be mountains in Heaven, Steph.” I could almost hear it in his voice. The past, colliding with the present, reminding me to keep my eyes on the future. Eternity.
