All tagged widow
Life was ripped from my grasp in an instant and death has pervaded my thoughts for 365 days. One year ago I couldn't imagine surviving. I couldn't imagine what life would look like, my life without Rob, a future without him in it. I feared that I was going to lose everything we'd worked to build. But yet I watched miracle after miracle in the weeks that followed. I experienced the presence of God in a way I never have before, and unless you've experienced tragedy, it's difficult to explain.
undaunted: undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort; undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear.
This word came to me several months ago, and when I looked up the definition I knew this was my proclamation. And in time it has helped to shape a changing future.
I do wonder when I'm going to genuinely say "I'm doing good" when people ask how I'm doing. Number one, I hate that question because there are million different things firing in my brain when it's asked. But my only answer is "I'm doing okay." Which feels so fake, so safe. But its the true and honest only thing I know to answer. I'm not doing terrible, I'm not doing great, so okay is actually...okay.
Mary Beth's story is on this blog today because she has been touched by extreme evangelicalism, religion, domestic violence, mental illness, motherhood, divorce, and surviving the suicide of a very important person in her life. If her story doesn't grab your heart then you might want to check your pulse.
The first 100 days of a President's tenure are always heavily documented by the media. They analyze his achievements, his failures, his progress, and the impact of every decision he's made. I don't plan to analyze every decision I've made in the past 100 days, but here's the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I've always tried to find purpose in the pain. Every news story, in my book, when I speak. It's just like, we had this really crap thing happen to us and we're gonna use and give it wings. You can't choose what life hands you, but you can choose how you respond to it. We've chosen to respond to what life gave us with giving hope to others, showing them that they can be overcomers too.
For nearly a year we'd had a family reunion planned for the end of September in Canada. It was Rob's dad's 60th birthday and it was long overdue that the entire family was together. Rob hadn't seen his sister or niece in 5 years, so we were all looking forward to renting an AirBnB on Georgian Bay together.
Two days after Rob's accident I was walking home from dropping Josiah off at school. The words below flooded me and I wrote them down when I got home. I knew I had to speak at Rob's memorial service. I want to share this here, not only because several people who couldn't be at the service have asked about what I said, but also because I simply want to honor him and the man that he was to me. I want others to know the Hope I have, and where I place my trust.
On August 20th, 2017, at 5:37 pm, my world stood still.
Six days later I stood by my husband's casket as it was lowered into the ground.
